Posted on 01~25~2011 at 10:34
The gentle breeze is bitter, causing me to speculate how those who reside in the arctic manage to survive. I, a young girl of three and twenty, am kneeling in front of a headstone, mourning the passing of the stranger who lies there. It has become a pastime of mine. Wandering cemeteries during the night, fantasizing the deaths of these deceased residents. I find solace in the solitude of my surroundings. The crescent moon is riding high over the tops of the willows that encircle my place of seclusion.
An owl screeches in the distance. When I look up it raises its wings, standing majestically on a high branch as though it is calling to me. I smile to him as he settles back down, seemingly content just to observe my every movement.
The wind begins to howl, causing the low hanging branches of the weeping trees to billow softly around me. I close my eyes, reveling in the feeling of the cool air on my flesh. My auburn tendrils lift from my neck as though wanting to escape on the breeze. I remain still, listening to the sounds that haunt the graveyard.
Most who visit this dark place of mourning cannot wait to leave, even hastening through their respects meant for departed loved ones in order to escape the brutal realism of their own mortality. To me this is a place of peace. I am comforted by the shadows that lurk in the darkness.
After several moments I rise, my white satin nightgown blowing softly across my bare feet. The faint trace of moonlight is casting a blue glow over the scattered monuments that lie in my path. I move to the next tombstone and run my fingers lightly over it.
At what point had my obsession with death begun? That I cannot say. For as far back as my memory will allow me to travel I have been fascinated with mortality. I often wondered what lay beyond this world in which I live. Does the soul really travel to some sort of blissful afterlife? Or does the conscious wither and decay like the bodies in which they reside? One day I will have the answers.
I wander aimlessly through the headstones, my mind working as I amble along. Of the souls who lie here, how many would be forgotten but for me? Perhaps it is just my desire to feel a sense of significance that leads me to believe that fantasizing the lives of the deceased in a way keeps them alive.
As I continue along my melancholic trail I stumble across something that piques my interest. Among the manicured grass and wayward hedges lies a mound of disheveled earth. I step forward to discover the trench that lies at the base of the mound. An open grave. An elaborate tombstone leans against the crumbled soil, barren of any sort of epitaph. I kneel before the chasm and stare into the abyss.
Who will be laid to rest here? I take up a handful of the mangled earth and watch it crumble through my fingers. My eyes fill with tears for the spirit who has passed on. I have heard the stories of those who came close to death. They claim to have seen a white light. The only light I can imagine seeing is the magnificent glow of the moon. Perhaps because during my years in this existence it is the most divine presence I have encountered.
I agonized over posting this for quite awhile. I'm not a very revealing person in my everyday let alone online. This piece represents a time in my life (a trail I walked, if you will) that was excruciating in its raw emotion. I expected a challenge when I chose to write about it, I never expected to relive it.
Posted on 01~17~2011 at 14:15
( Cause and EffectCollapse )
Cause and effect. Aristotle was definitely on to something.
Posted on 01~09~2011 at 17:44
Listening to: HEART!!
( Take it, I say!Collapse )
What do you mean I misinterpreted the topic? Pshaw.
Due to my eventful bout with the plague I was forced to drop from LJ Idol. Now that I have banished the plague to the realm of Anti Biotics I'm back and hoping for a second chance!
See how hopeful I am?
Posted on 11~23~2010 at 15:28
Watching The Santa Clause with Caleb. I don't think its as funny to a seven month old but he is still amused :)
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
Posted on 11~05~2010 at 07:12
I feel a bit: amused
When I was younger, we’re talking like kindergarten or so, my grandmother (who was also my legal guardian) decided that it would be a good idea to get me involved in an extra-curricular activity. While I wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea I was envisioning something akin to a fairy princess meeting or at the very least a guest spot on Sesame Street. ( the Great Baton CatastropheCollapse )
What happened next? What will the next chapter hold? Stay tuned. It could be the Great Adventure of the Shopping Bag Parachute or even the Tale of a Resentful Girl Scout!
Posted on 11~02~2010 at 14:47
I feel a bit: annoyed
I love my bff Shannon. I despise her boyfriend Chris. SHE despises her boyfriend Chris and stays with him only because of their seventeen month old son. So tell me why it is that I got roped into going with both of them to the state fair tomorrow. I would have a blast with just Shannon, our sons, and I but...Chris?? He's a creep and he has stupid hair.
I'm such a pushover. haha